Mayday Mayday, I’m okay.

14080036_1172856996109981_3247907604035405580_nThanks ZekerVanHaarZaak for this onliner, I love it. And I love what you do for female entrepreneurs too.

I’m at my all time professional low.

I wish I had more uplifting tones to share with you, but that’s just how it is. It’s a live journey of a start up. It’s the upfront truth.

I also wish I could see a glimpse of that breakthrough just around the corner, but the truth is I don’t.

So I’m very tempted to give up.

It’s been almost a year now of prepping the go to market of healthy drinks for kids. I can’t keep prepping.

It’s been a ride. One I’ll never regret. I’ve learned to know so many interesting and lovely people. I’ve learned tons of new things and I’ve been able to work with my passion –herbs/fruits/flowers/infusions/tea- for so many months. I took a chance at changing the world for the better just a little bit.

It made me feel more useful than ever.

It erased all the noise from my professional life. It allowed me to keep just the essentials and cut the bullshit out. I’ve had nothing but useful encounters, action-reaction meetings. I never once felt as if I was doing something that did not lead to something useful to the start up and to the world. Every step was a step closer to achieving the final go-to-market destination.

But the last couple of days/weeks were different. Things started shifting, just when they are supposed to get real.

It’s not a fun topic, but it all boils down to money to really get started, so I have to share this with you in order to give you the full story and the why I’m nearly giving up.

I’ve been wracking my brains around the start up capital to produce my first badge of MiniMarieTea. From loans, to private equity funds, to crowd funding, to venture capitalists, … you name it, I’ve considered it.

And the thing is, I have no leverage, I’ve spent the maximum amount of savings I can spend. I’m stuck…

I never pretended to be a financial specialist, I’m a marketing kinda girl, with a big passion and an even bigger mission. But the truth is, you need the finances to work along with you.

And honestly, I was on the verge of mixing a loan with crowd funding. I had my crowd funding video script ready to roll. I had the launchparTEA (got it? ;-)) for the backers all planned out. But fear got me.

Also, I really wanted to do this through the right platform, aligned with my social impact products, which is the core meaning of my start up. But turns out the platform only supports more established companies, looking for scale up, not start up.

It’s just the setback too much. I don’t want to settle for a crowd funding platform I don’t feel and more importantly, doesn’t feel me/my products/start up.

And I surely don’t want to go back to making more plans, convincing more people, setting more goals. I want to move forward. I want to move away from my desk. I want to produce and sell those wonderful products.

But hey, I tried. And that’s just fine. I’m ok.

So I guess this is me telling you I’m going to look for a new job. Sigh.

But also, I’m going to look for an established company that might be willing and able to put my plans into action for me or with me. Who knows.

It’s all there, ready to be put into action… I can’t just walk away from this now. The world needs these products. My heart just knows that.

So I’m not exactly giving up, I ‘m still looking to find a way to put the products out there for you. And for me! And for the world and the better of our children.

I’m just getting to terms with the idea that if I want a chance at getting MiniMarieTea and Happy Bags on the market, it will have to be through an existing company of established brands and know how of the food & beverages industry.

So hey food- & beverages companies out there, if ever you’re reading this… and you have the right heart for sugar free, natural, honest, healthy, pretty and tasty drinks and you’re looking for some delicious innovative product lines to increase your social impact, call me maybe. (I’ve always loved this song, yep, really. And now I finally got to use it in my own blog 🙂 #lifegoals)